I am.... MOTHER OF THE YEAR!!!!!
As I write this it is 8:30 and I'm waiting on my oil to heat so I can make salmon patties and sweet potato fries. Which will be my daughter's supper... maybe- can you give a 10 month old salmon???? Maybe she will eat turkey. And while I'm doing this my husband is icing his bruised head and watching some Will Ferell movie. What's my Little Miss doing? Is she engaged in one of those 589753248320 Pinterest "instead of watching tv" sensory activities I painstakingly seek out? Nope---- she's watching the inappropriate Will Ferrell movie with her dad; one pigtail in, one pigtail out. At least they are bonding.
The more I talk to mommy-friends the more I realize I am a really bad mom... at least an oxymoron mom. I let my girl watch Sid the Science Kid, but don't you dare let her watch a non-education cartoon. I feed my daughter only organic foods but I (gasp) allow most vaccinations (believe it or not I trust my pediatrician and really think they have our best interest in mind). We read a lot and stimulate our brains with music daily... right now we are reading The Paris Wife and listening to the newest NeedtoBreathe album.
While I was pregnant my sister-in-law (a textbook mom) loaded me up on "How to be a mom"-ature: Baby-Wise, What to Expect, Big Book of Baby Savings, Happiest Baby on the Block, and the list goes on. I read them- I was all about them. And then- I became a mom and realized I STINK at all of those.
When I was a teacher my classroom ran like a machine- we had Morning Meeting at the same time every day, centers rotated every 15 minutes, we lined up for lunch at the exact same time each day... but at home my life was always much more lax. Apparently my parenting is the same way.
Little Miss has NEVER had a set bed-time... or nap-time.... or meal time. It only took 9 1/2 months to get her into her own bed (as in I wouldn't put her there because I like to check on her breathing every few minutes during the night), but you're crazy if you think I try to rock that back to sleep in the middle of the night. No- I just carry her back to our room--- and if she's not ready for sleep I do what all MOTY's do. I turn on cartoons, sit her between the hubby and I, and go back to sleep. Don't worry though!!! I am adamant that she ONLY watch educational cartoons (ask the hubs- I mean business, people). Occasionally I break down and turn on the Disney channel, but really prefer GPTV. And sometimes, she isn't even in our home for naptime or bedtime. We may be at a friend's house, or the pool, or the gym, or the drive-in movie. That's okay- I always make sure I can make her a pallet in case she gets tired.
Don't get me wrong. I don't expect my baby girl to watch tv or sleep all the time. At the beach we experimented with eating sand and mud (it's organic), and used our auditory and tactile senses to take our daily naps on the beach. Little Miss loves to fingerpaint while Mommy is working on orders. I try to keep non-toxic Crayola on hand, but applesauce works pretty well, too. And we exercise. We go to Crossfit most days. Little Miss is learning to motivate her friends by clapping and squealing. Most days she is content to ride in her stroller while we run sprints or just sit in her stroller and watch us. But then there are days like today when she has just had enough and the stroller isn't cutting it. So I sit her on the shiny, clean, soft gym floor beside me while I do push-ups and then snuggle her really close to my dry, clean, nice-smelling body and hold her while I do squats (please insert antonyms for every adjective in this sentence).
But guess what, people??? Little Miss is HAPPY (like--- all the time). And she is healthy. And she is thriving. I'm not saying I am getting it right. I know for a fact that I'm not and so many more people do it 100 times better than I do. What I am saying is it's ok. It's ok that sometimes you do things with/to/for your child that you are embarrassed to share with anyone because our society is so quick to judge (and go viral on social media). So to all you sweet mommies out there with no grace for yourselves... all of you that think you just can't get it right and you are ROYALLY screwing up your child. STOP WORRYING!!!!! And remember there are MOTY's out there like myself that are doing it totally backwards and my kiddo is PERFECTION
My perfect child eating supper naked with
one pigtail standing at 9:30.
And proof I didn't feed her salmon!!!!
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