I'll tell you where I turn green (with envy, of course)---- in houses, yards, porches, pools, and land. Seriously- I can hardly stand it. I'll tell you a little more about my oxymoron personality. I could care less if my clothes are wrinkled and honestly don't know where we keep our iron. Seriously- I loathe ironing and it's just going to wrinkle when I get in the car anyways. So I have no hesitation about going out in crumpled shorts. And I rarely bother to put on make up or dry my hair. In fact, most days I don't condition my hair because I'm not even planning on brushing it when I get out of the shower- I just topple it on top of my head in a fashion-less style. I am perfectly comfortable having paint under my nails and up my arms, sweaty gym clothes, and a no make up face when I pick up groceries or have friends for supper. But my house- it has to be PERFECT. I want it cleaned with every item in it's magically organized place. I want my food served on pretty platters, and a little seasonal door candy to greet you. I spend hours moving furniture around, then back; redecorating bookshelves; stripping and painting furniture. I love making a house a home- and it has to be just so.
I balance this fine line of "I have to get out of my house right now!!!!" and "I'm a spoiled American, there are entire 3rd world villages that would move into my house with gratefulness in their heart". Oh but Facebook. And Instagram. And Trulia. You pop up with these beautiful #newhome, #projectdreamhouse, and "newly listed in your area" hashtags and e-mails and all of a sudden my 3-bed, 2-bath, Craftsman home is closing in on me and I can barely breathe from claustrophobia.
I drool over your 2-story foyers, basements, large yards, and laundry rooms. Oh laundry room, I adore you. I have a laundry closet. CLOSET! Who invented the laundry closet? You are my enemy. Who really wants their washer and dryer in their kitchen? Which leads to being assaulted by baskets of laundry in your kitchen floor? I neatly stack these baskets on top of the the washer/dryer and close my laundry closet and pretend it's not there. Only to walk back into my kitchen 30 minutes later to find the baskets back in the floor and the doors to the awful place wide open, again- mocking me.
My point is- I drool over all of your new dream home photos, and pore over the house tours Trulia so kindly sends my way. Suddenly I can't live without more. More than I have. More than I need.
It seems harmless- at least I am prepared for that coming time when we buy or build, right? Not exactly- what's really happening is I am forgetting to be thankful and grateful for what I have.
I remember the first Christmas that wasn't quite so magical anymore (you know, that one where you know how Santa got those presents under your tree?) and my brothers being less than grateful that some of their loot just happened to be clothes. I was so upset that my parents feelings were going to be hurt by the ungratefulness. But isn't it the same thing I'm doing when I complain about what I have? God has blessed me so much beyond what I could have thought to ask. And each time I complain about what I don't have I'm FORGETTING to be thankful that God has given me exactly what He knows I need (and, frankly, do not deserve).
