-Rachel Kincaid (influencenet.com)
Y'all! Really? Have you ever heard better words of encouragement for a mommy? Not me!
I pretty much blog.... NEVER- these days. I want to. I try to put the words together- but in the end I feel as though I have nothing to say. Let me rephrase- as though I have nothing WORTHWHILE to say. Nothing of any interest. To anyone.
I'm in a place where I feel that I fail more than I succeed. I forget to stick new wipes in the diaper bag. I can't get my 21 month old to eat "real" food. I'm consistently 5 minutes late everywhere I go... Even though I give myself a 2-3 hour window to prepare/feed/pump/change my girls before any scheduled activity. Something I'm eating upsets my baby's tummy. I lose my temper. I forget to put the cheese in my squash casserole. My house- my floors- my bathrooms..... The list is so long.
Spiritual warfare is running rampant in my life. Satan is finding these little instances and building strongholds to rip me apart.
In the matter of a few, short weeks I had an acquaintance I considered a close friend tell me our friendship was more work than enjoyable. And, essentially, no longer worth it. Wow- painful does not begin to describe the hurt created in that statement.
And a job I enjoyed, that was ideal for my family's current needs and has brought many uplifting and positive friendships into my life, was taken from me. No warning. No explanation. No apology.
Confidence rocked.
Crushed.
Dejected.
Because failing at being a mommy, wife, and homemaker wasn't enough- Satan just wanted to dig in a little deeper.
And rooted deep in my heart right now are those lies.
"You aren't good enough"
"You aren't worth being friends with"
"You can't teach"
"You. Are. Failing"
I do not know what God has in store for my family right now. I am scared. Hurt. Confused.
But I know- The answer lies in trusting Him to guide my steps. To surrender from trying to be the master so I can learn from the Master. HOPE and TRUTH whisperer into my fragile heart.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Kate, i'm so sorry to hear of the troubles you've been facing! Just know as moms we are always hard on ourselves. I fail daily but the key is to not beat yourself up over it. We are given God's grace and we need to extend that grace to ourselves 😄 We have to remember that we are not here to do it alone! Don't let that negativity steer you from the path of god's greatest plan for you!
ReplyDeleteLove you. Thank you for sharing out loud what so many of us feel! I was EXACTLY where you are almost four years ago. And God IS faithful. We ate just usually on the other side of our crisis before we see it. I'm praying with you and your family!
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