Intentional Marriage

Intentional Parenting is a bit of a catch-phrase these days.  And it's a great thing.  I make an effort to be intentional with Whit because I don't want these days to pass us by.  It would be easy for it to happen with the constant barrage of laundry, diapers, baths, supper to cook, den to pick up, bottles to wash, repeat... not to mention running errands, *trying* to make it to Crossfit, painting, sleeping (what's that???).

I'm not complaining- it's just easy to let those moments consume my life especially since my Whittle-bit is such an EASY baby.  She just smiles and chatters wherever you put her. But I don't want to just watch her from afar while I work... and I'm not the greatest at following a strict schedule (seriously, Baby Center mom's that have their WHOLE day scheduled in 30-minute increments down to when they hold their baby???), but I want to be intentional. So I plan projects- we go to Atlanta to make pottery with Whit's hands and feet, or use her thumbs to make Valentine cards. We name every body part during bath time and we get down in the floor together with her toys at least twice a day even for just 5 minutes, read books, "chatter" while I cook supper.... but guess what's getting lost now???? Oh that's right- my marriage.

Craig was off work 3 1/2 days last week thanks to the Snowpocalypse and I LOVED it!!!! I love having Craig home.... my house is a little messier but it's worth it to have my little family all here.  And on Friday, as we were looking at a VERY BUSY but separate weekend, I was so sad. I realized that while we had all been home together we had spent very little time as a family. Tuesday we watched the news and went outside to take pictures of our sweet angel in the snow. Wednesday I played with Whit while Craig sketched, he watched Whit while I cooked... we got together for a quick minute to have a mini photo session of Whitlee. I built a snowman. Craig tried to sled. We were passing parenting duty off while the other worked/showered/crafted/relaxed. We brushed shoulders as we worked around the house on our respective tasks. But we weren't together.  And I realized we are working so hard to love our little girl, provide for our family, pray, go to church, clean our house, care for our dogs, teach tennis and teach art that we are letting these days of our marriage pass by.

What we forget is we have only been married 16 months... That's it. We are still newly weds- a lot has changed, our family dynamics have done a 180- but we should still be starry-eyed lovers.  And we are. But those starry-eyes are directed at our adorable, chubby-cheeked, dimpled smile, baby girl.  So during my quick 7:00 pm Publix trip to prep for the 14 Days of Valentine's (more on that later), I decided we would make Friday night date night. So I grabbed stuff for home-made Chinese and came barreling in the door hollering about putting the leftovers back in the fridge, WE were cooking.  It was nothing fancy--- just egg fried rice, baked veggie egg rolls, and sesame chicken--- but we did it all side by side. Most of our interaction was simply me explaining the next step in stuffing and rolling egg rolls, or how to cook the chicken... but we were talking to each other and it WAS NOT "Have you...?", "Has Whitlee...", "Should I..."

An intentional marriage is a lot like intentional parenting. It's not much different than what we were already doing, we are just doing it now with the mindset of "Is this quality?". I simply made the decision to look at the person in front of me and say "I want to experience life WITH him, not experience MY life parallel to HIS life."